Pour yourself a cup of tea. Let's spend a few minutes with Jesus together.
The other day, I spilled tea all over my favorite white sweater. I looked down, sighed, and immediately thought, Well, that's ruined. I hurried to the sink, reached for the stain remover, and started scrubbing before the tea could settle into the fabric.
As I worked, I caught myself thinking how strange it would be if I looked at that sweater and said, "Well, I guess it's a brown sweater now." Of course I wouldn't. The stain wasn't the sweater's identity. It was simply something that had happened to it.
Isn't it interesting how quickly we understand that with clothing — but how slowly we believe it about ourselves? Somewhere along the way, many of us stopped saying, "I made a mistake," and started believing, "I am the mistake."
That's what shame does. It takes an event, a failure, a season, or a wound and quietly turns it into an identity.
Romans 8:1
"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."
This verse has become an anchor for me. Notice what Paul doesn't say. He doesn't say there is no conviction. The Holy Spirit lovingly convicts us because He wants to restore us. But condemnation? That isn't His voice. Condemnation says, "You'll never change." "You're damaged." "You're too far gone." Jesus never speaks that way.
For years, I confused guilt and shame. Jesus has patiently shown me they're very different. Guilt says, "I did something wrong." Shame says, "There is something wrong with me." One points to behavior. The other attacks identity.
Looking back over my life, I can see how easy it would have been to let shame write my story. Foster care. Addiction. Abuse. Brokenness. Losing the church I loved. There were plenty of moments when shame whispered that these experiences defined me.
But Jesus has been teaching me that He never introduces me by my wounds. He calls me His daughter. He doesn't ignore my past. He redeems it. He doesn't pretend the pain never happened. He transforms it into a testimony of His faithfulness.
The truth isn't that I've never failed. The truth is that my failures never had the authority to name me. Only my Creator has that authority. Only Jesus gets to tell me who I am.
Spend a few quiet moments with Jesus:
1. Is there a mistake, wound, or season of my life that I've allowed to become my identity?
2. What names have I been calling myself that Jesus never has?
3. What does God's Word say is true about who I am in Christ?
Don't rush. Sometimes freedom begins when we finally let Jesus rename us.
Father, thank You that You know every part of my story and still invite me to come close. Nothing about my past surprises You, and nothing about my failures changes Your love for me. Forgive me for believing voices that have spoken louder than Yours. Where shame has become my identity, replace it with the truth of who I am in Christ. Teach me to walk in the freedom Jesus purchased for me. Thank You for calling me Your child. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Stand in front of a mirror today. Look yourself in the eyes and slowly say this aloud: "Because I belong to Jesus, my past is part of my story — but it is not my identity." Repeat it until you begin to believe it.
The cross doesn't erase your story — it redeems it, and only Jesus has the authority to name you. May the Lord continue to form truth in the hidden places of your heart, because that's where purpose is born.
— Pastor Jenn Dafoe-Turner
Spiritual Midwife • Christian Life Coach • Author • Speaker